Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Humorless Black Guy

So, tonight, I did a comedy show right down the road from the Gingerbread House, at the Liquid Zoo. It's a pretty cool place. I've done a ton of shows there. And Ron Swallow is a very gracious and wonderful host. For the past few weeks, I've tended to do a comedy show there every Wednesday night. Everybody has been very nice there and I've had no hecklers. Btw, I was explaining, just the other day, to my 8-year-old that hecklers must be dealt with. It's been a long time since I had one.

I am not going to go into as much detail I could with this entry. Suffice to say that tonight's episode was the emotional equivalent of the time I was at the Hot Wired Cafe, which, fortunately, no longer exists. I went in there, after Ten and Eight was born and before Six was born, to do some comedy. So, I had two wonderful sons and this guy on stage talked about someone molesting my children. Yeah. Really. It sucked in a way that I cannot describe adequately with words right now. Fortunately, tonight's insult was not about my children, but about me. In that way, at least it was easier. The kind of pain I'm feeling as I write this is the kind of pain I felt in 8th grade, when this guy (let's call him non-dancing-guy (NDG)) absolutely loved putting his arm around me on the bus ride home from elementary school, but refused to admit that I existed at the 8th grade dance. OMG, that was one of the most painful nights of my life. I still feel the pain of NDG's rejection, when I think hard enough about it. Turns out, I need a man who can dance, but of course, I had no idea then. The pain from NDG's ignoring me was almost too much to bear at the time, though.

Back to the Humorless Black Guy (HBG), and, therefore, to present day: So, I was in the middle of "White Girl Rap," with a Jewish/European-American Guy (I'm guessing here) who was laughing at me, and a couple of other people in the bar. There were two white-ish guys in the bar and one guy who seemed to be part black. Look, when I sing "White Girl Rap," I'm automatically admitting that I don't have the rhythm of a stereotypical black guy. In fact, I was making fun of myself, a white girl. I said nothing about a black guy, as I recall, until I said something like, "the black guy walked out; what does that tell you?!?" and yes, I making fun of myself, HBG. I was making fun of the fact that I have no rhythm, but no, HBG somehow thought that making fun of white people (from which I descend) equated with making fun of black people. Evidently, a$$holes do that kind of thing. Needless to say, he had no humor. I have no idea what he was doing at a comedy club.

And so, in the middle of "White Girl Rap," which makes fun of white people, especially moi, for any a$$holes who may be reading this, HBG leaves the audience, goes out the door, and says something that I won't repeat here, but I will say is much like the above-mentioned molestation thing on stage. Well, at least HBG's insult didn't include my children. Oh, the generosity of HBG, in that respect. Look, I'm the one who told my students (when I taught) that if one says African-American, then one should say European-American. After all, how equal is it if I'm called white and an African-American is not called black? I'm all about equality for everybody, even though none of us are created exactly like another and we are all individuals; when I make fun of white people, I can certainly do it, because I am white.

So, yes, I am at home crying about this incident. But I will get over it. And I will realize that the HBG is an asshole who is not a typical black male. Btw, black males normally love my $%it and realize that when I talk about white girls, I'm talking about myself. As much as I'd like to think that he isn't typical, however, he might well be typical of what is to come.

What has caused HBG to be humorless?!? Well, it could well have been merely too much alcohol. Or it could have been something in the air, this thing about white guilt. I know that white people are supposed to feel extremely guilty about everything these days, even though most, if not all, of us have never actually held slaves or seen a "whites only" water fountain. Things have become ultra-serious with race and apparently, with some people, it's not good to even talk about differences. I read the other day about a comic in Canada who was fined thousands of dollars because some lesbian got offended about whatever the comic was saying; according to the comic, she was heckling him, but still, he received a fine. So much for that free speech. In a world that needs much more humor, it's becoming dangerous to talk about real differences between people. I was always taught in comedy that I can make fun of myself or anything that has to do with me, but not of other people. Insinuating that I as a white woman have much less rhythm than most blacks has become something that is insulting to some, evidently, even though I've always considered it a compliment to blacks and an insult to myself. One of the many reasons that I do comedy is because it's one of the last places where truth can be spoken. But with people like HBG in attendance, I'm wondering how long that will last.