Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Marie Osmond's Adoptee Dies

Look, I used to like Donny and Marie, and especially their little brother, Jimmy. Actually, I have nothing against Donny and Jimmy, the former, in fact, is in one of my favorite Weird Al videos: White and Nerdy. No, it's not the Osmond boys I have a problem with: It's Marie. A few years ago, after I'd awakened from the brainwashed adoption slumber that I'd been in most of my life, I read that Marie was proud of the way that she so was in denial about the pain of mother and child separation that was pretending her adoptees were her own child, making the three that were truly her own equivalent to those who are adopted. Those of us who are adopted know how ludicrous this plan is, laughable at best and tragic at worst. I grew up with a lot of well-meaning people who accepted and propagated adoption lies. Therefore, I tried hard to pretend that I was related to people who are more or less genetic strangers to me. The pretending part is what really sucks; in addition, it's quite harmful. I wish that adopters would stop pretending that adoptees are their children. I wish that moms who've lost a child to adoption would tell the world how terrible it is to lose that child. I wish that adoption agencies thinly veiled as pregnancy crisis centers would cease to exist. Well, that's the way things used to be. However, in the last 100 years or so, adoption brainwashing has so pervaded public thinking that the average person is looking at Marie Osmond and saying, "Isn't it sad that she lost her son," when in fact, some other mother, his real mom, lost a son a long time ago and now, that son is dead. And no, Marie, with all her money and therapy and religion, could not save her adoptee from the fact that he and his mom were separated and the havoc that wreaks in every child who's ever been thus separated. I'm not pretending that he was her son. And I am extremely thankful for the sentence in this article that alludes to the problems he was having, simply from being separated from his mother: Osmond did say one of the issues troubling him was the fact that he was adopted. Gee, Marie, you think so?!?

Until I had my first son, I did not realize how much boys depend on their moms, for everything from nursing to nodding off into dreamland at night. I'd heard that boys have more of a problem with being separated from their moms than girls do, but I did not really believe it until my sons were born. Seeing that mother/son bond made me realize that Mr. Thinking Mama and his mom have a similar bond, and that since Mr. Thinking Mama's mother died unexpectedly almost four years ago, there is a real sense of loss for him and his brother. Because Mr. Thinking Mama is an adult, however, he is much better equipped to handle the loss of his mother than an infant boy. Marie Osmond's adoptee lost his mother as a child--he may have never even seen her. Yes, this kind of thing can have a huge effect. And yes, mental hospitals, prisons, and graveyards have many men in them who've died from loss of mother via adoption or death.

I'm so sorry for the loss of Marie Osmond's adoptee; it is an extremely sad ending to an extremely sad life. It's too bad that Marie, with all her money and fame, couldn't have found a way to support both the children that she adopted and their mothers.