Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Ye Olde Neighborhood Pot Store: Revisited

Many people last year around this time--as Ron Paul's roaring-to-go yet futile delegation began slithering towards a better racehorse, or rather, one more assured of winning--began singing the praises of Obama. Disillusioned with Paul and more repulsed by McCain and his People-Magazine-worthy (but then again, who isn't People-Magazine worthy) running mate than by a guy who's just a wee bit socialist, who's proud of that wee bit, and who seems quite anxious to expand it to a more encompassing bit. Savior, people began to call then Emperor-to-Be Obama. He was certainly hailed as valiantly as Jesus on Palm Sunday, right up there with Martin Luther King and Monty Python. Now, however, as we creep toward totalitarianism at an ever-increasing pace, people seem to be questioning the motives of a man whose "change" seems to include fining people for not having health care. Ted Kennedy, may he rest in peace, is probably fondly smiling upon the Congress Critter who introduced a bill to do just that, fine a family $3800 if the family is uninsured. Can people who are fined have a bailout from the government? I can't help but wonder. And somehow, such a seemingly crazy move would be par for the proverbial course of Savior O. After all, health care plans involving the government are all about controlling the populace. If you're in doubt, read what these various and sundry health care bill candidates have to say about electronic records. Then, think about whether or not you want your private and personal medical information even slightly monitored or harvested by the government. Think about Farrah Fawcett and how some UCLA employee sold her private medical information. Think about how much more easily accessible your medical information will be if the government digs its grimy paws more into our health care system.

Stem cells will cure people's diseases, pot stores will give away free pot, and Savior O. will even pay your rent. As unbelievable as these things sound, I heard variations of them as Savior O. was being escorted to the Puppet-in-Chief's office. Well, I must admit that I didn't hear about free pot--now that part's simply a writer's exaggeration. But I not only heard a pot-ingesting morally upstanding actor and all-around good neighbor imply that Savior O. would all but close down the Drug Enforcement Agency, but our very own neighborhood pot store here (about as common out here as Baptist churches are in the South) had its own picture of Obama with some quote about how he would free people from the tyranny of the DEA. Okay, I'm exaggerating there, but it was a quote from Obama that seemed extremely pot friendly. In addition, pot stores have been cropping up all over Los Angeles, and making no bones about their green cross little selves (they usually have a green cross as a symbol). The neighborhood pot store had been a bit lazy with checking i.d.s and such and I was sure that of all the things I'd been right about with Savior O., perhaps I'd been wrong about the pot thing. Perhaps he would indeed lay off California and allow its over-taxed, stressed-out citizens a bit of relief via the legalization that the citizens voted for, in 1996, Prop. 420, as it's called.

Gosh, but I guess the DEA guys are afraid that somehow someway somebody in Iowa is going to find out that we can have pot brownies legally in California and get all upset that the DEA isn't out here taking away a right that we voted for! (Okay, I wasn't actually here then, but I thank all those who did vote for it. Boy, do I ever thank you.) And so, now, as of quite recently, our neighborhood pot store, I have confirmed, has gone back to its quite stringent policies. Evidently, five stores in Granada Hills were recently closed. Of course, the DEA (and I've written about this in a previous entry that I'm too tired to look up now) probably took lots of property from the owner(s), as they, unfortunately, have begun a tradition of doing in California, even though what the owners are doing is perfectly legal in California. Well, I guess Savior Obama isn't quite saving the pot stores, as he promised, is he? I wonder if that's the only promise he'll break.

Pot Info. in the SFV:
How hot is pot in California? "Medical Marijuana Evaluations," which provide the license to ingest and grow pot, are now down to $65. Some are still $100, as they were a couple of years ago, but prices are definitely down and competition is fierce. One promotional card features a gorgeous topless girl lying down, with her thumb in her bikini bottom. She is totally smokin' hot and yes, I wished to inquire more about her company's services after seeing such a fabulously sexy card. Turns out, that particular "medical center"'s price is $44 for renewals (those who already have a license) and $64 for "new patients." As I have said many times before, it is ridiculous to see why a natural and God-given plant such as pot is illegal in the first place. Human-created pharmaceutical Xanax, on the other hand, is probably being given out for free in the government schools.

As a comic, of course, I feel that it's a good idea to get a license. I know one comic who can pass a drug test and he's an LAPD officer. And so, I don't want to end up in some car of comedy with pot in it and no license. Well, and there are, on occasion, those delicious pot brownies.

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