Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

No Picture Necessary

Usually, I'm a huge picture taker, but I hope that the following words will explain adequately what I have to say.

Some China adoption group recently caught wind of me, evidently. I received the usual "What the hell are you thinking, idiot?" e-mails from adopters, heard nothing from natural mothers and fathers who'd lost a child to adoption (not unusual when they're halfway across the earth), and nothing from those sweet China dolls (one of them described their adoptees this way) who may never know anyone in their natural family. The adopters, let it be known, speak for all of us separated by adoption. And if you don't believe that, well, you're in for a surprise. The adopters have the final say in everything. Nonetheless, one of them wrote me and asked what I would do with all the "unwanted" children, as if they were sitting in droves in China and the U.S. The first thing I'd do as adoption czar is to return all children to parents who actually want them. My guess is that, if we listened to the parents instead of, or even in addition to those who want to adopt, the adopters would have to return 95% of their adoptees to someone in the child's natural family. That leaves about 5% of adoptees who are truly unwanted.

My own personal story is like many others: Certainly, it's not one of being unwanted. It is one of being wanted by my mom and possibly even by my dad, who was shut out of the picture early in the process, but being coerced by the adoption industry, who assured my adopters that my mother had been given "two chances" to keep me. My mother was assured that if she loved me, she would give me away. Only in adoption is such faulty logic so steadily adhered to.

Nonetheless, we all believed the adoption lies, my mom and dad going on not to tell my half-sister and half-brother, respectively, that I even existed. I grew up knowing that I may well have a brother or sister and lots of other real relatives. I was contrary when it came to adoption, except for the times that I felt I had to lie to myself, and I eventually came to see through the $1.6 billion per year adoption industry, which buys and sells babies many times each day. Do you really think that all those babies in China are unwanted? And do you really think that continuing the demand from Westerners, from which 40 potential adopters currently wait for each adoptable infant, will stop the Chinese government from having their crazy and evil requirements on family planning?

Nonetheless, these adoptees will find it much harder to find their families than even I did. And it seemed, at one point, that I would never ever find them. While I am thankful to know who my family is, I cannot overlook the problems of having been separated from them for so very long. Earlier this week, I was dissed by a relative, I'll call Relative X, who blatantly and lovingly kissed and hugged my brother, got in her truck, and left me standing without so much as a wave. Later, my brother and father, who were supposed to be attending my sons' birthday party, called right before the party to tell me that they would not be attending, after telling my children that they'd be there. It would be very tempting for adopters to say at this point, and many will, "See? That's what happens when you have a reunion with people who didn't want you." But indeed, adoption in and of itself has produced these bizarre situations. After reunion, natural families experience a wide range of emotions for the rest of their lives. The family can never fully recover. And there are always scars. The alternative, of course, is living a lie, which I am thankful that I no longer do.

Please don't think that the elite are not aware of what they do in stranger adoption; this kind of thing has been planned for a long time and breaking up families is just one of the many distractions that we have to what's really going on in the world. I think about how much stronger my own natural family would be had we not been separated by adoption and while there would, no doubt, be pain and strangeness, I would be in the pictures of my family instead of in the pictures of a stranger's family, trying to fit in.

You can certainly bet that the New World Order currently being forced upon us would not be happening if our families were stronger. Adoption has probably broken up more families than divorce. And yet, mainstream media continue to tell us how wonderful adoption is. And many people continue to believe it. Those of us who have been separated must continue to speak out, or else the adoption nightmare will continue to expand to many more families.

You can also read a bit more about my experience with my natural family this week at my Comic Mom blog.

1 comment:

Jade said...

I read a lot of different adoption blogs but the ones that grab the heart strings the most,are the international adoptions. adoptees are raised in a different culture,lose their identity and culture, reunite (if they are lucky) only to find out parents always wanted them. then speak of a loneliness of gigantic magnitude b/c they dont fit in with adopters or birth relatives. its human trafficking as far as im concerned.