Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Dying with Lies

Most adoptees live in a world of lies from shortly after birth. Some of us learn to love those lies, or rather, we learn to attach ourselves to those lies so intimately that we forget that they are lies. There is more, I'm convinced, to the adoption industry than meets the proverbial eye. After reading about the elite's plans and experiencing mainstream media's dissing, both of those of us who scream about adoption and of those of us, deemed "terrorists" who supported Ron Paul as the Republican candidate. In the past ten years, I have lost so much faith and trust in the things that mainstream media tell me to trust that I trust almost nothing. If the L.A Times tells me that something is good, I automatically look for the bad side, knowing that the Times, like most mainstream publications, has a globalist agenda. Many people mistake a lot of mainstream newspapers, including the Times, as having a liberal bias. The reality is that such publications have a statist bias that is extremely strong. Thus, the so-called liberals and the so-called conservatives seem very much to be at each other's throats. In reality, they are moving us all in the same government-controlled direction.

I ponder this kind of thing when I think about adoption. Recently, I received a comment on "Et tu, Maryellen Hooper?" a post about a comic that I'd worked with. If you'd asked me to, I could have hardly written a more mainstream-media-brainwashed comment for that post than this one:

WOW! I am the first comment and I pray that means no one else stumbled upon your ridiculous, ignorant blog about Maryellen. She "took the baby" from their mothers? Wait a second, isn't the premise of an open adoption that the [natural] mother has spent countless sleepless nights agonizing over her decision to give her baby up. [sic] You make it sound like Maryellen and her husband snuck into the hospital and kidnapped a child while it nursed from its mother. They were chosen by the [natural] mother as that child's best chance at a life that she decided she could not offer. There are countless women who cannot conceive and yes, have tried every alternative out there..and the move to adoption is one that is thought out and carefully screened by all involved. You are obviously ignorant to the entire thing and admit to only having met Maryellen for a few seconds...yet, go on this venomous diatribe about her, when you clearly no [sic] nothing. I can only assume, that you feel your [adopters] "stole you" from your [natural] mother. Does your [natural] mother agree, and where would you be without your [adopters] who stepped up? hmmmmm......

For future reference, I don't publish comments that use negative language about moms. It's not that I didn't want you to see this woman's ignorance; it's that I will only use language that is respectful of natural families on this blog. Therefore, I will not use the ugly b-word to describe my or anyone else's mom, whether or not that mom raised her child. The ridiculous "birth mother" word, which I just used for those of you who may not know what I'm talking about when I say the "ugly b-word," is a slap in the face to mothers, whether or not we've lost a child to adoption. It is demeaning indeed and yet, the La Leche League disowned me as their spokesperson because I support natural families staying together. Yes, what an irony.

Anyway, I can tell you that that the woman who wrote the snappy reply that I posted previously is more than likely an adoptress. She's probably from a small town and she's adopted at least one child and sees absolutely nothing wrong with adoption. I'm sure that she has good intentions, but as with the 92% of people who believe that adoption is just dandy, this woman sees only the lies that the adoption industry has bombarded her with, since before she was born. I'm not sure how she came across my blog but it was probably the first time that anyone had poked a hole in the balloon of lies that she's built for herself, an adoptee, no less, saying stuff that she's never heard before. I can tell that this woman is having a visceral reaction because, for one thing, she didn't read my post that closely. I said that I worked one whole week (one comedy week, that is, i.e., Wednesday-Saturday) with Hooper, not merely a "few seconds." This woman also believes that just because adopters are removed from the process, i.e., the social worker is often the one who does the taking of the child and hands it to the adopters, that adopters have no blood on their hands from taking someone else's child. It's probably really difficult for this woman to know that the demand for children is so strong that there are 40 couples waiting for each adoptable infant. Better that this woman believe she is saving a child, that the child would have died or had tragic consequences if the child had stayed with his or her real mother (as she somehow surmised from my own family, although she has never met my mom or my adopters), and that the mother thought it wonderful, albeit somewhat sad, to give her child to strangers. Ah, this woman thinks exactly what the adoption industry wants her to think. The $1.6 billion adoption industry is very proud of her and, in fact, depends on such people to continue its existence.

Now, back to the big picture: No doubt the elite find it extremely valuable to break up families through adoption. In fact, the elite absolutely love it when such obituaries as this one come up. I happen to know the woman who died and I know very well that she is adopted and that she was not born in Wilkes County. I also know that she was not born to her adopters, Elizabeth and Dean Holbrook. I also know that when Nancy was still a little girl, her adoptress died of a heart condition that she'd had for a very long time. In fact, the heart condition may have been why she could not have her own children. I used to play with Nancy when she and I were little girls. People thought that we may be sisters because we both had very dark hair and blue eyes. Fortunately, as I would find out years later, my mother lost only one child to adoption, moi! Therefore, Nancy was indeed not my sister. But she is also not the daughter of Dean and Elizabeth Holbrook and she certainly wasn't born to them. From the obituary, it seems as though Nancy went to her grave believe the lies that she'd been told since her own both. In that respect, she and the writer of the previously quoted comment have a lot in common. If Nancy had read my blog, she would have probably been just as pissed off as the writer above seems to be. It's easy to see how people get angry when there are lies that threaten what they've built their lives around. Unfortunately, Nancy, like so many adoptees, lived the lies so much that she wholeheartedly believed them. Even her obituary is a lie. If Nancy's real mother lives today, she is still wondering what happened to her daughter and she has no idea that her daughter is dead and that she has three grandchildren and some great-grandchildren as well. Nancy's real mom has probably suffered physically and emotionally since the day Nancy left her arms to go into the arms of strangers.

So, what do the elite gain by having adoptees such as Nancy and adopters such as the one who wrote the above comment? With $1.6 billion riding on the lies of adoption each year, there is much to be gained by the lies of the adoption industry. But even more important, there are families to break up. Nancy, no matter how much she lied to herself, her children, and her grandchildren, was never the whole person she would have been had she found her mother, or better yet, had she grown up with her mom and her natural family. Her mom's life, although Nancy never knew this, was torn apart by losing her daughter to adoption. There are two people that were so damaged by adoption that they could never lead a full life. Perhaps separation from her mother did indeed, either directly or indirectly, cause Nancy's way-too-early death. Either way, the elite win and another family is lost for generations to separation by adoption. The elite have much to gain by separating families by adoption, just as they have much to gain by electing Emperor Obama to office. Therefore, those who speak the truth about adoption, like Ron Paul supporters, are noted as crazy and we are dismissed by mainstream media. The lies continue and so do the problems of adoption.

May you rest in peace, Nancy, and one day, may you and your real mother (and father and the rest of your natural family) be reunited in heaven.