Aspie with Attitude

Sure, I'm just another Southern Recovering Alcoholic NPR- and Sweet-Tea Addicted Comic Mom with Asperger's in the SFV, but I can tell you now that I don't necessarily fit the stereotype.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Trouble at Rent-A-Womb

I don't mean to sound insensitive here and I know that many people have strong feelings about surrogacy, and further, that my views do not quite align with mainstream thinking, but I really don't like the idea of a woman's renting her womb so that another woman can have a child. I really don't. I can make all kinds of excuses, but the bottom line, as out of vogue as that seems, is that it's wrong. I think that taking a baby from a mother, as is done in adoption, is wrong, although the parties involved have been led to believe they are all doing a good thing.

I have visited a fertility doctor, one who made a "guarantee." The whole process seemed a bit cheesy somehow and I am thankful that I did not have to follow his advice to have my three beautiful sons. I know some who have gone through IVF and while I'm pretty much against this procedure for myself, I know lots of people who've done it successfully. It's not my cup of tea, but as long as the dad is using his sperm and the mom is using her eggs and not pretending that someone else's sperm or egg is the dad's or mom's, respectively, I'm fine with it. It's a difficult procedure and it requires a tremendous amount of dedication for success.

To me, there's just something wrong, however, with a person who gestates another human being for someone. Nonetheless, there is a story in today's Los Angeles Times about some people who've lost thousands of dollars because of some kind of fraud in a surrogacy group, SurroGenesis USA. The article, "Fears over surrogacy funds," seems not to be available without having to pay for it online.

I don't think surrogacy or adoption or abortion or any of that stuff should be regulated by the government. That said, surrogacy costs can be close to $100,000 these days and it just seems to me that when you want a child so badly that you're willing to spend that much, well, it just seems sad somehow. I hope that all those who are thinking about surrogacy will instead become pregnant on their own. I know that there's a brisk business in the surrogacy market, however, and I know that so many people are desperate and willing to pay. Evidently, an unscrupulous person took advantage of those who want to hire a surrogate and somehow lots of surrogate-payers had their money taken with no surrogate given, and lots of surrogates are not getting paid. It's very tempting to say that when you rent a womb, or try to, perhaps trouble should easily ensue.
I wish no ill to anyone and I hope that the fraud part of this case is resolved. Still, there is something very sad to me about a woman who would rent out her womb and there is something very sad about a woman who would ask her to.

1 comment:

Jade said...

i was crushed to hear that sarah jessica parker is using a surrogate. the media fell right in line and said "SJP expecting twins" as if she were having them herself. it makes me sick! it IS wrong. helloo handmaids tale anyone?? it's all great and dandy until it's their life for rent.